


Here be Monsters

by hyperbolicfae



Series: Here be Monsters [1]
Category: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Daemon touch kink, Dean and Sam have daemon boundary issues, Demon Blood, Demon Blood Addict Sam Winchester, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Self Loathing, Self-Hatred, Supernatural with Daemons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 06:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20962019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperbolicfae/pseuds/hyperbolicfae
Summary: Dean’s back from Hell. If only Sam and his daemon could stop hating each other long enough to appreciate it.





	Here be Monsters

“You know what really pisses me off about angels?” Dean’s not slurring his words, not yet, but he’s not exactly sober either. Sam has heard this rant enough times in the past few days to mouth the words. “They don’t have daemons. It’s creepy.”

Dean’s saying it at the bottom of a whiskey glass, muttering mostly to Yarrow, but Sam can’t help but agree. Uriel’s a dick, and Castiel’s not much better. To see a real angel had been miraculous, something out of one of the books Pastor Jim gave him as a kid.

Meeting one had been … well, sobering.

Sam can’t help but wonder what happened to their vessels’s daemons. Demons - Ruby- don’t have them either, so he doesn’t find it disturbing so much as weird. A shock that’s been worn down by time and exposure. He looks over to the other side of their dingy motel room where Dean is stretched out on the other bed, shoes and clothes still on, with Yarrow resting at his feet. Angels don’t have daemons and Sam is beyond thankful that Castiel remembered to bring her back too.

_ “I don’t like Castiel.” _ Aquila says, sensing his thoughts. She flaps her wings like she always does when she lies. 

“You do,” Sam says. 

Aquila says nothing, but her talons grip tighter on his headboard and gleam in the dim room light.

Sam wants to reach out to her. To smooth out the ruffled feathers and run his hands through her soft, red, down. She won’t let him though. She’s been glaring at him with her sharp eyes since Dean and Yarrow came back, even though she agreed…

Drink the blood. Get strong. Get Dean back. Kill Lilith. That had been their mantra for months and Sam can’t help but feel abandoned. Aquila likes Ruby too; had tried to be her daemon, had watched over them in the throes of blood and sex. She hasn’t allowed the demon to touch her, but it’s gotten close enough that Sam’s half hard at the thought. He could get lost in a haze of red and pleasure/pain. Him and Aquila both, no matter how much she denies it.

Want rips through Sam and he grits his teeth at the onslaught. It’s too soon; he doesn’t want to leave Dean’s side and the angels know. He’s been warned. He notices his shaking hand going for his phone and forces it away. 

Aquila can feel it too, the want, the hunger, but she ignores it. Ignores Sam.

Since Dean’s been back, since Castiel brought him back, Aquila’s let him and Yarrow touch her more than Sam. Sam knows she needs the reassurance, needs to know it’s real, but it hurts more than it should. They’d been through so much and now it feels like their connection is turning to ash. Sam wouldn’t have done any of it if she’d been against it. Aquila had said yes. Enthusiastically. 

Sam refuses to give into his impulse to walk across the room and bury his head into Yarrow’s sleek fur. He knows she’d let him, would rub his face with her nose and gently lick him with her warm tongue, but it doesn’t feel right when he’s still craving Ruby. When it should be Aquila comforting him.

Aquila hasn’t told Yarrow about what they’d done. Sam’s certain because he knows what his brother’s reaction would be. It wouldn’t be Yarrow’s gentle, correcting nips, but her sharp teeth and Dean calling him a monster. A vampire. A disappointment.

Not worth the sacrifice.

The thought makes his breath hitch.

“You okay?” Dean’s frowns at him. “You’re being kinda quiet.” Shame floods Sam. His brother’s concern is gutting, and worse, it’s mirrored in Yarrow’s warm brown eyes. 

“I’m fine, Dean.” Sam motions to Aquila, “Just you know, daemon stuff.”

“Uh huh.” Sam’s pretty sure Dean and Yarrow have never even had a fight. Dean’s always known what he wants, and he and Yarrow are a united front. Sam envies them for it. “Only you would over complicate it, Sammy.”

And well, Sam can’t really argue that, especially when Aquila takes flight, making sure to scrape his shoulder before landing next to Yarrow. Sam hisses in pain and she gives him a vicious look as she settles.

“I think she likes you more.”

Dean grins, “That’s just good taste.” He reaches down and runs his fingertips along the tip of Aquila’s head. Sam can feel her feathers puff in response and it releases a tension he didn’t know he had. He feels lighter, lifted. Dean watches him. “You two need to play nice.”

Sam’s still reeling from the touch. “Gee, thanks, mom,” he chokes.

Dean looks at Yarrow in silent communication. “So me and Yarrow are gonna take off for a while. Saw a bar driving in and think we can hustle some pool.”

Sam rolls his eyes at his brother’s transparency. “Very subtle.”

Dean hops off the bed with Yarrow following at his heels. “Perks of being the oldest,” he says opening the door, “I don’t gotta be.” 

The door closes and Sam and Aquila are left alone.

His daemon stares at him, still slightly puffy from Dean’s touch. Sam resists the urge to stare back. One of them needs to be the bigger person.

_ “I love Yarrow and Dean,” _ she finally says.

Sam nods, because what can be said. She’s not usually this expressive, but it’s fact. He’s just not sure what it has to do with the situation.

She flies back over to his bed and lands softly beside him. Sam closes his eyes at the relief he feels. Aquila rubs at his cheek with the spot on her head Dean had touched. Birds aren’t exactly cuddly and Sam appreciates the gesture. It feels good, feels secure after these past days of fighting. She’s never this careful with him. 

“ _ We are going to have to choose, _ ” she says. “ _ It’s going to be Ruby or Dean. _ ”

Sam feels ice in his veins and blood in his ears.

Beyond the blood, Ruby knows Sam and Aquila in a way his brother would never understand. It hurts to think of losing her. She kept them safe and sane while Dean was gone, pulled them back together piece by piece. She didn’t mark his shoulder, but only just. “If we could just show Dean. We’ve saved so many people and she’s helped.”

“ _ We are going to have to choose _ ,” Aquila repeats. “ _ And we love Dean more _ .”

“Yeah,” Sam doesn’t have it within himself to say it about Ruby either. Can’t admit to this one fact, not even to his daemon. 

“ _ He’s going to find out. And you aren’t doing well without the blood. _ ” Aquila turns away from him. “ _ It’s going to get so much harder, and I can’t keep lying. Not to them.” _

Sam runs his fingers over her feathers. He didn’t realize she was hurting this badly. “Shh. We won’t. It’s not in question. Of course it’s Dean and Yarrow.”

“ _ Ruby once told me about her daemon _ ,” Aquila confesses. “ _ He’d settled into a garden snake and she used to keep him warm under her clothes. Demons aren’t supposed to remember but she does. _ ”

Sam’s heart clenches. He hadn’t known. He wants to know if that was when Aquila almost let Ruby touch her, but it seems pointless to ask. “We’ll figure it out,” he says instead. 

She says nothing else, but that’s okay to Sam. It’s better than her derision, and he wants to keep the earlier illusion of peace and safety for as long as he can. He watches as she perches back on his headboard. They don’t apologize to each other, they never do. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone’s interested:
> 
> Yarrow is a German Shepard  
Aquila is a Harris’s Hawk
> 
> I was thinking about what Sam and Dean’s daemons would be for weeks. This is the result.


End file.
